EntEr My ZaiZAi KiNgDom

sori to.......

2006-06-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

June 7, 2006, 1:30PM

OMG sobrang nguguilty na ko kasi hindi ko masyadong nauupdate itong blog ko..dami kasing ginagawa or should i say sinasadya kong maging busy para hindi maalala yung mga bagay na sad sa buhay ko lalo na nung May last year..... miss na miss ko na si Mark..shit di ko na alam talaga kung anong gagawin ko...gustong -gusto ko syang makausap pro hindi ko alam kung pano... ngayon lang nangyari sa akin ang ganito..its been a year pro lugmok pa rin ako sa knya... para makalimutan sya kung saan saang place ako pumupunta.. oo kahit unti nalilimutan ko sya pro when nights comes balik na naman ang lahat sa dati....pagod na ko oo..pro sya lang talaga eh.. i want to hear his voice one again...

As loNg As yOu WisH foR iT, I DoN't cArE How MaNy TiMes I hAvE to bUiLd it, wE bUilD it tOGethEr- LING
WhEn sOmEonE tlkeD ABoUt LiFe's DigNiTy, FoR mE,HUmanS ArE JusT A BUncH of MoViNG pieCEs oF MeAt,nOt beauTIFUl bY Any MeAnS-SHENG

Kay Sarap Ma-In Love

2006-05-18T02:58:00.000-07:00

May 18, 2006 6:00PM

So true!

Ang sarap ng in-love. Sa unang beses niyo mag-date tapos naramdaman niyo ang sinasabi nilang "spark" nako, magkaharap pa kayo naiisip mo na ang bukas Para matawagan mo na siya at maayang makipag-date ulit, pero sa susunod kayong dalawa na lang.
Hindi ka mapakali pag wala siya sa tabi mo o hindi mo siya nakakausap sa isang araw, sigurado at sigurado tatawagan mo siya sa iskul, sa bahay at pag wala doon maglo-load ka sa cellphone mo at uubusuin ang 300 na prepaid sa loob ng isang tawag na wala naman ibang laman kundi bungisngis, kamustahan at kwuento tungkol sa lahat ng sama ng loob mo sa mga ex mo.
At ang goodbye sa telepono ay hindi matapos-tapos, hindi niyo malaman kung sino ang unang magbababa at umaasa kang me "Take care" sa huli. May text pa yan sa umaga para masabi mo sa kanya na masaya ka na nakapag-usap kayo. Minsang gumimik kayo at upbeat ang sounds, hala! sayaw ka kahit parehong kaliwa nag mga paa mo, pero gusto niyang sumayaw kaya sige sasayaw ka na rin. Kahit ilang mule, arctic at sub-zero ang orderin niya wala kang pakialam, mas mabuti nga kse nga puede mo na siyang akbayan at i-hug pag medio lasing na siya, pag hindi siya pumalag nako! Score! para kang nasa langit. Malamang, matapos mo siyang ma-hug eh ayaw mo nang maligo at lagi mong naaalala ang scent ng pabango niya na me halong amoy alcohol na pero para sa yo mabango pa din siya. At siempre tuwing matapos kayong gumimik eh ayaw mo pa rin matapos ang gabi kaya hihirit ka pa ng coffee, kahit isandaan ang isang baso, "So what?!?" kamo, pera lang yan ang importante kasama mo siya. Masaya ka rin pag na-traffic kayo kse makakapagkuentuhan pa kayo pauwi.
Matiyaga mong inaral ang pagda-drive ng manual gamit lang ang isang kamay kse yun isa hawak yun kamay niya o nakadantay sa hita niya habang nagmamaneho ka.
Araw-araw magmamakaawa ka na ihatid mo siya at kung puede ka rin niyang ihatid pauwi. Pag me free time ka eh nasa bookstore ka para nagtingin ng mga puedeng ibigay na greeting cards. Nakalimutan mo na ang barkada mo, para sa yo malaking abala lang sila sa napakagandang lovelife mo kesehodang magtampo pa sila sa yo.
At kung aalis man kayo nde ka magkasya sa pagte-text lang sa lab mo, kelangan mong pumunta sa banyo para lang magkarinigan kayo pag tinawagan mo siya at sabihin na nde ka nag-eenjoy at mas gusto mo na siya ang kasama. Pagdating ng weekend, alas dies pa lang ng umaga nasa kanila ka na at me dalang suhol na breakfast para sa nanay niyang nakasimangot dahil natutulog pa ang anak niya eh andun ka na.
Pagdating ng gabi kahit antok na antok na siya eh ayaw mo pa ring umuwi, hinihintay mong makatulog siya sa mga bisig mo para makanakaw ka ulit ng kiss.
Iniisip mo rin kung kelan ka kaya niya ipapakilala sa friends niya? Nung kayo na, lahat ng monthsary ice-celebrate niyo, me kasama pang surprise na regalo at date. At nde miminsan mong nabanggit na gusto mo na siyang pakasalan at wala nang ibang babae sa puso at wala ka nang makikita na katulad niya. AFTER ONE YEAR... Mahal ang gimik sa bar, mas maganda kung kakain na lang kayo sa Jollibee at manonood ng sine. Wag na kayo magkape, masyadong mahal with matching comment na "Leche, me ginto ba yan?" Mas gusto mo nang kasama barkada mo dahil "minsan" lang kayo magkita sa isang linggo. Pagkahatid mo sa kanya, nagmamadali kang umuwi sa gabi dahil pagod ka na sa trabaho. Pumapasok at umuuwi na siya mag-isa dahil nde mo siya masusundo dahil puyat ka. Syet! wag ka niyang pipiliting sumayaw at nakakahiya.
Anong tawag? Sa load mong 300, mauubos yun at 1 beses mo lang tinext (against 245 na text niya sa yo) at 3 minutes mo siyang natawagan. Naubos ang load mo kakatawag sa mga barkada mo at kaka forward ng joke sa kanila.
Pag weekend mas gusto mong manood na lang ng TV o matulog. Pupunta ka lang pag tumawag na siya at nagmamakaawang dalawin mo naman siya at me suhol na ipinagluto ka niya. Kahit automatic na kotse mo nde mo pa rin makuhang hawakan ang kamay niya habang namamaneho ka.
Magastos ang mga monthsary, kung anniversary niyo nga eh wala kang regalo, monthsary pa?!?
Mag-uusap kayo? Baket me problema ba? Kung wala, isang oras kang manonood ng TV habang siya eh nakatutulog na kahihintay na kausapin mo siya. Miss na niyang ini-email mo siya,sagot mo? "jusko naman araw-araw na tayong nag-uusap ano pa ba naman ang sasabihin ko sa yo? Baka gusto mo pa ng card?!?"
Pag aayain ka niya para gumimik with her friends ang sagot mo? "Utang na loob, kung gusto mong lumabas kasama friends mo ikaw na lang mag-isa at naiilang ako." Pero pag lalabas kayo with your friends umiinit ulo mo pag tahimik siya pag nagjo-joke sila tungkol sa inyo ng ex mo sabay tanong "Nde ka ba nag-eenjoy? Buiset, umuwi na nga lang tayo!" At tungkol naman sa kasal..."Jusko naman, nde mo ba ako maintindihan?!? Wala pa akong pera saka nde ko maiisip yan ngayon! Sana wag ka namang makulit." Sa lahat ng ito, ngingiti na lang siya, iisipin lahat ng ginagawa mo noong nanliligaw ka pa malamang umaasa pa yun na babalik yun dati sabay buntung-hininga at sabi ng malakas... "Kay sarap ng in-love."

As loNg As yOu WisH foR iT, I DoN't cArE How MaNy TiMes I hAvE to bUiLd it, wE bUilD it tOGethEr- LING
WhEn sOmEonE tlkeD ABoUt LiFe's DigNiTy, FoR mE,HUmanS ArE JusT A BUncH of MoViNG pieCEs oF MeAt,nOt beauTIFUl bY Any MeAnS-SHENG

AGREE KABA DITO????

2006-05-11T02:19:00.000-07:00

May 11, 2006 5:30PM

AnG PaGmaMahaL duMadaTinG sa TaManG
oRas At TamaNg paGkaKataOn..MinsaN
SiniSiSi Pa NatiN anG saRiLi NaTin KuNg BaKiT NgaYon Mo LaNg > > NaLamaNg MahaL Mo Sya..
KunG aLam Mo LaNg...
NgaYon Mo LanG Yon NaLaMan Kasi EtO
YunG
TiNataWag Na "TAMANG PANAHON"..
SoMe ThiNk Of LoVe As a PasT TimE..FLinG At TrIp LaNg..YunG MaHaL
Nya NgayOn..BuKas HiNdi Na...BoYfriENd Nya NgaYon Pero TaNggaP Nya
Na IsaNg aRaw TaTawaGin Nya din Yung "EX"..
MataGal Nga,,inaAboT pa Ng taOn pErO ILaNg taoN??1? 2? 3? Tapos PaG
nagKakaSawaAn na NagAAyaWaN Na At MaY iBa NamaN Na NagTataGal LanG
ng TaoN daHiL naNghihiNayaNg sa PinagsamaHan...
BaTa Pa MasYado aNg
ganoNg magmahaL...
MaY iBa NaMaN Na MasYadOng SeryoSo At SenSiTiBo Pag DatIng Sa baGay
Na yAn.
YuNg
TipO Ng TaoNg haNdaNg iRisK AnG laHat..
MagBigaY.. MagParaYa.. PaRaLaNg DoN sa TaoNg maHaL Nya.. MerOn PaNg
Iba DyaN Na PiniPigiLaN YunG naRaRaNdaMaN Nya KasI HigH ScHoOL
PaLaNg O Di Kaya TeEnAgER PaLaNg, GuSto Nya KasIng MaGiNg siLa NuNg
taOng Yon Sa paNahoNg seryosoHan Na..YunG SiGuraDo Na Sya Na Yung
TaoNg Yon Nga ang GuSto NyanG makaSama PaNghaBanG BuhaY..KumBaga
"TAMANG PANAHON"..
ThErE's This QuOTaTioN SaYinG:
"i dont care how many lips u'vE kisd....
i dont care how many women u've embraced i dont care how many ladies
heard u say u love dem....ol i care is d future...
not to be u'r FIRST but to be u'r LAST"..
MaSaRap MagmaHaL nG TaOng MahAL ka
Din..YunG feELiNg Nyo SouLmaTe Kayo..
KAYA KUNG PARA SAYO TALAGA
SIYA..ILANG
TAON MAN KAYO DI MAGKITA.. ILANG TAO MAN ANG MAHALIN NIYA.. GAANO
MAN SIYA KALAYO O MARMI MANG HADLANG..
MAGKIKITA PA RIN KAYO KUNG TALAGANG
PARA KAYO SA ISA'T ISA...
pAg-iBiG???....
HinDi HinahaNap Yan..Kusa yAnG
duMaRaTinG sa "TAMANG PANAHON"..

As loNg As yOu WisH foR iT, I DoN't cArE How MaNy TiMes I hAvE to bUiLd it, wE bUilD it tOGethEr- LING
WhEn sOmEonE tlkeD ABoUt LiFe's DigNiTy, FoR mE,HUmanS ArE JusT A BUncH of MoViNG pieCEs oF MeAt,nOt beauTIFUl bY Any MeAnS-SHENG

Feelings of love

2006-03-03T19:54:00.000-08:00

I have feelings of love for the guy I see.

Does he love me too, what does he think of me?

I wish I could tell him he makes me whole, but I'm afraid to say

what's deep in my soul.

I don't want to lose him, for I would be alone,

and some days I just can't wait to hear his voice on the phone.

He does certain things to make me feel loved,

some days he wants to be alone and my heart is shoved.

I want to feel as though I am his safeguard,

the one he can come to when things get hard.

I will always be there to help him along,

and before we met I wasn't as strong.

I wish I could tell him what I feel inside,

but I'm afraid of what he'll say, how he'll act on the outside.

I Wish, I Hope, I Dream, I Pray, I Want, I need....

2006-03-03T19:39:00.000-08:00

I am lost in the middle of the crowd.

I have no place to go.

I have no one who cares.

It is only me, and I am all alone.

I have no one to tell my secrets too,

No one to call late at night.

I have no one to go crying to,

No one to turn to when things are not right.

Trusting people is so hard these days,

And I can never tell a keeper.

I want to find some one, who is perfect.

Someone who will look a little deeper.

I wish for someone,Who will kiss away my tears.

Someone to keep my head on straight,

Someone to help me conquer my fears.

I hope for someone,Whose heart is pure.

Someone who will listen to my feelings.

Someone who for everything will be my cure.

I dream for someone,Who will have an answer for everything.

Someone who will always be respectful.

Someone who will do for me, anything.

I pray for someone,Who is willing to take a risk.

Someone who will try new things with me.

Someone who in the rain, will want to kiss.

I want someone,Who will follow their dreams.

Someone who will never give up.

Someone who one day, will completely succeed.

And I need someone,Who will care for me unconditionally.

Someone who see beyond the eye.

Someone who will love me, for me...

MiSsiNg Mark Zhou Much!!

2006-02-07T01:11:00.000-08:00

gosh been so busy this past weeks... but i have a spare time now. daming nangyari this past days, sa work, sa buhay ko, sa family ko at sa mga friends ko.. pro enjoy parin kahit pano.. hays valentines na pro hinde ko parin nakakausap si Mark, musta na kaya sya...sana nababasa nya to para malaman nyang andito patin sya sa puso kahit anong mangyari...sana kahita sandali lang makausap ko sya..and say hi at how are you? khit un lang masaya na ko don......WISh talaga!!!!

As loNg As yOu WisH foR iT, I DoN't cArE How MaNy TiMes I hAvE to bUiLd it, wE bUilD it tOGethEr- LING
WhEn sOmEonE tlkeD ABoUt LiFe's DigNiTy, FoR mE,HUmanS ArE JusT A BUncH of MoViNG pieCEs oF MeAt,nOt beauTIFUl bY Any MeAnS-SHENG

11 down 1 to go

2006-01-10T01:00:00.000-08:00

BLog ulit bwahahhah...sa wakas tpos ko ng gawin ang isa kong report, 11 down 1 to go...weeee...
Sakit na ng likod ko at mata pro ok lang... maaga pa kasi kaya hinde pa ko makauwi....hayss alala ko tuloy aso kong si lei...damn (he was killed last december 31) that's why sobrang badtrip ako nung New Year...sorry lei kung hinde man lang kita napagtanggol...im so so sorry...
Next time na magkaroon ako ng doggie promise wala ng makakagalaw kahit sino..mga mokong kayo deads kayo sakin kapag ginalaw nyo pa...aweeeeee..

Nweiz sarap ng usapan nmin ni rio kaninang breaktime saka nung meryenda break..geeezzz friend hinde nman tayo mukhang hopeless db...hahahah

Kita kits na lang ulit sa saturday....mas maraming classmates natin ang pupunta for sure...

As loNg As yOu WisH foR iT, I DoN't cArE How MaNy TiMes I hAvE to bUiLd it, wE bUilD it tOGethEr- LING
WhEn sOmEonE tlkeD ABoUt LiFe's DigNiTy, FoR mE,HUmanS ArE JusT A BUncH of MoViNG pieCEs oF MeAt,nOt beauTIFUl bY Any MeAnS-SHENG

NY reso

2006-01-09T00:23:00.000-08:00

haysss blog time ulit...
as I promise last time dito ko lang sasabihin ang aking New Year's Resolution...aweeee

1. Pagbubutihin ko lalo ang aking work..hehhehe...
2. Ill always smile na(pro lagi nman akong nakasmile ah, sabi kasi ni jeffrey hinde daw) kaya smile na ko ngayon..hehhehe
3. Ill try to be more patient lalo na kapag nag-aantay ako sa mga friends ko..weeee
4. Ill move on na as in move on..leave my oldself behind..
5. Fate will bring me to my one true love..waahhhh (akala ko ba singleblessedness na ko,,ah basta darating din yon)
6. Magpapapayat na ko at lagi kong iinumin ang aking medicine para humaba pa buhay ko..amp...
7. Mamahali ko si zaizai for life...(baluga ko tlg) at saka si J.L kahit hinde nya lam at masyado syang busy ngayon..bwahahaah...
8. Ill take care of my family as long as I can...
9.I promise to be a good daughter na....nahinde pasaway at makulit...para hinde mahighblood si mom at dad... and lastly
10.. Ill be a good servant of God and to my SFC family..

As loNg As yOu WisH foR iT, I DoN't cArE How MaNy TiMes I hAvE to bUiLd it, wE bUilD it tOGethEr- LING
WhEn sOmEonE tlkeD ABoUt LiFe's DigNiTy, FoR mE,HUmanS ArE JusT A BUncH of MoViNG pieCEs oF MeAt,nOt beauTIFUl bY Any MeAnS-SHENG

dec. 23-31

2006-01-04T00:12:00.000-08:00

gosh i was so late in updating my blog sobrang busy kasi sa work na kahit during christmas day nagtatrabaho ako.....grabe naging immortal ako for a week... at parang di k nmanlayan na natapos na pala ang 2005... napakaraming bagay ang nangyari last year...maraming lessons akong natutunan mga bagay na panghabambuhay kong ichecherish....maraming masasayang gimmiks ang barkada...at marami ring trials na napagdaanan ako at ang family ko but we surpassed all of these because of God's presence...Were very thankful to Him for always guiding us in every seconds of ourlives and for using my mom in inspiring us to be a good person tho sometimes we commit mistakes that actually hurt other people... Im very thankful to mom for not giving up on us eh ang kukulit kaya naming magkakapatid plus idagdag mo pa si papa na sobrang topakin( sakanya nga namin cguro namana ang pagiging matigas ang mga ulo) .Masaya ang nagdaang taon for me coz I got to spend time with my friends my family and myself...I got to enjoy the joy of being inlove and hurt broken but its a good memory for me...Thanks for my friends for always listening especially to my bestfriend spy..dude thanks a lot...So much blessings that I got, in my work and personal thing....Sana maging masaya rin ang 2006 for me..geeezz sabi sa chinese horoscope lucky daw ngayon ako at sana totoo nga..hehehehehh!!! next time lagay ko nman ang aking new year's resolution..got to go home na kasi..aweeee!!!chow!!

having a hard time

2005-12-21T01:19:00.000-08:00

Christmas time thats why here and there you can see that people are so busy buying presents for their loveones..Aside from being busy from work and school people are also busy preparing christmas presentation for their Christmas party..And I'm not exempted for that, (gosh I can practise again my dancing ability here, 2003 was the last time I danced,and it's also a Christmas presentation for our SFC-EB5 Chapter.) Now my groupmates are my officemates......At first I don't want to join in this presentation coz I thought that I will have a hard time choreographing our steps but I'm wrong coz my groupmates are not hard to teach...We finished the whole choreo in just 2 hours.. And now it's time for me to go home....Tomorrow will be our Christmas party and I do hope we won...hahahha...Wish everything will run smoothly....Night!!mwuahhh!!Love you all!! ZAIZAI....

As loNg As yOu WisH foR iT, I DoN't cArE How MaNy TiMes I hAvE to bUiLd it, wE bUilD it tOGethEr- LING
WhEn sOmEonE tlkeD ABoUt LiFe's DigNiTy, FoR mE,HUmanS ArE JusT A BUncH of MoViNG pieCEs oF MeAt,nOt beauTIFUl bY Any MeAnS-SHENG

I was lucky this time

2005-12-19T23:56:00.000-08:00

I had a get together last saturday with my zhou siZZies at Robinson's Place Manila, after work I hurriedly went there....get together with nanay cora is a monthly event for us but this time its a special event coz its our first time to celebrate christmas together with zaizai's mommy( joke)...tho were only eight we still managed to be happy after all its zaizai whose our main man there...We eat first then our long long chatting bout what else our beloved zaizai...Then we had our exchange gifts...It was so funny that me and Chin got each othere's gift(we only change our gifts)...Then Nanay's raffle came, she raffled some zaizai's stuff which got us so excited..She raffled minor items first, were I got the zaizai fan...then the last one is the MAJOR PRIZE( the MARS DVD-China Version), all of us are praying to have it except Chin and Mia coz Nanay Cora already gave them a copy...Nanay let Mia pick a name from the plastic.....yes Im excited bout it but I know I cant get it coz I'm not lucky in raffle draws but much as I expected Mia got my name and damn I dont know how to react coz that mars dvd is one of my dream gifts this Christmas.. thank God that I got it and thankz also to Nanay Cora...But before that, I told everyone that whoever gets the DVD pls raffle the zaizai painting poster which is included in the DVD, ( I dont know that I will be the one to have it) so I then raffled it, to follow what I said. Guys I really had a nice time last saturday..xiexie....Joan now calls me as the Grand Prize Winner.!!!!hahhah!!

TGIF GIMIK

2005-12-19T23:21:00.000-08:00

If last weekends I was so unlucky..hey this time my destiny or my so called "bwenas" made it's way... I got to spend time with my friends again and this time X-band joined us not just bestfriend Spy but also three of his friends...actually they are my friends too but we have our own group which is MTC...Anyways our gimik started in waiting for my always late friends...hahahah im not gonna name names coz they might kill me.(joking)...

Dalts came there first then followed by best and I. Coz we know that they will be late so we ate first in KFC then after 45 minutes, Joan, Philip,Eric and Mark and Tine( Mark's new friend) came. We chatted while eating and at the same time "asaran" to the max... Philip started making "parinig" to Mark that the last time he so him, he was with another gal...hahah we all bursted laughing coz while doing it his also making faces...Damn Philip his always like that, he didn't change,his like that since elementary..He makes us all looks so funny...

Then after 30minutes Rio still not there we decided to called her up..she told us that shes on her way( she's late coz she practiced their dance for their x-mas presentation) after that we headed to Riverbanks to wait for Richelle...Mark requested that we ate again, we ate in a fastfood chain that offers all king of sea foods.While eating we all felt like were in a beach...then we all started reminiscing our highschool days again....After eating we decided to go to a bar just to hear a band playing...nice stories and topics are disccused...And the night ends well and a promise of "GIMIK ULIT NEXT TIME"....I love my friends alot.....

MaLaS TaLAGa!!!!

2005-12-14T00:46:00.000-08:00

Last Friday until monday I was in bed coz I'm sick (nothing has changed,what's new,I'm used to it by the way), I was having this deadly attack( nah! its a joke), just have an influenza.... but I hate it when I have it..eeeewwww!!!! I got bored in the house...what I did the whole weekend was to watch my cartoon collection DVD....(and my mom scolded me for that...hehehehe).... I missed the eF4 gathering last saturday, I forgot to watch the Wade Robson Project, being held at home like a freaking child...damn when will this sickness be gone.. I really hate this.

Then last Tuesday I drag myself at work coz I need to past my report by Thursday, then after work I hurriedly went home so I can rest, but an accident happened to me, a man suddenly bumped me and dude it made me lying in the wet ground....ground soil covers my back...eeewwww and what really made me scream was the pain that I felt in my shoulder, thigh and foot. It was like a lighting strike me that I can't move. The man stood me up and apologized. I dont want to argue with him anymore or asked him why isn't he looking in his way. I went home crying then mom and dad saw me and asked what happened, Dad was so worried that he thought that I was hit by a vehicle (my parent really loves me so mush,lolz) We went to a doctor to have a check up the doctor said that Im ok. He gave me a pain reliever but I can still feel the pain..

Its been 3 days since that inccident happened but it still aches and I have a large bruise on my shoulder and thigh at least only bruises not a broken bone hahahh!!! But I still cant moved that much protecting my shoulder. God what a jinx I was.....

Loneliness Kills Me...Just a joke

2005-12-08T20:35:00.000-08:00

Time flies so fast, it's December already but I can't feel that Christmas is coming......I should be happy because for the longest time that we didn't have my Dad with us during Christmas now his here spending this precious time of the year with us.... Yeah I am happy in a way maybe but this loneliness kills me really....my friends told me that I'm a jolly person but some of them don't know that I'm supressing this "freak" feelings inside me...Only my best friend Spy know what trouble inside that I have....Woooohhhh..

For the past 22 years of my life I've been asking for the right man to come....Actually at first I told myself that I should not look for it that I should let destiny take its place.... but I felt "kawawa" when seeing lovers who are so sweet. Damn I can't take seeing couples..iiiwwww....

now I'm decided to be a woman who will wait for the right timing to come but if its still doesn't work hey I will be what I called "singleblessedness" gurl..hahaah!!!!

I still miss him...oh noh!!! But I know his happy now!!! Goodluck to myself..geeezzzz!!!

JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU DEE!!!!!

ULaN......Para Sayo MV2

2005-12-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

Lagi nalang umu-ulan

Parang walang katapusan

Tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon

Parang walang humpay

Sa kabila ng lahat ng aking pagsisikap

Na limutin ka ay di parin magawa

Hindi naman ako tanga

Alam ko na wala kana

Pero mahirap lang na tanggapin

Di na kita kapiling

Iniwan mo ako nag-iisa

Sa gitna ng dilim at basing-basa pa sa ulan
Pero huwag mag-alala dina kita gagambalain

Alam ko naman ngayon may kapiling ka nang-iba
Tanging hiling ko sa’yo

Na tuwing umu-ulan

Maalala mo sanang may

Nagmamahal sa’yo. Ako…..

I StiLl

2005-12-01T23:58:00.000-08:00

Who are you now

Are you still the same

Or did you change somehow

What do you do

At this very moment

When I think of you

And when I'm looking back

How we were young and stupid

Do you remember that

No matter how I fight it, can't deny it

Just can't let you go

I still need you

I still care about you

Though everything's been said and done

I still feel you like

I'm right beside you

But still no word from you

Now look at me

Instead of moving on

I refuse to see

That I keep coming back

Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment

That wasn't meant to last (to last)

I've tried to fight it, can't deny it

You don't even know that

I still need youI still care about you

Though everything's been said and done

I still feel you like

I'm right beside you

But still no word from you

No, no

I wish I could find you

Just like you found me, then I

Would never let you go(need you, care about you)

Though everything's been said and done,

yeahI still feel you (I still feel you)

Like I'm right beside you (like I'm right here beside you)

But still no word from you

Thanks!!!

2005-11-30T02:09:00.000-08:00

It's raining outside.But being inside this muffled, air condition building only allows me to see the raindrops thru the window pane, but not actually hear them as they plummet to the ground, or feel the tingling breeze of the wind, or even get shocked with every thunder and lighting. It deters me from reminiscing those childhood memories when rain means simple, undefined fun. It numbs me from getting that emotional thing i used to feel when this weather covers the city. I'm missing that life, when everything that comes around, goes around. No worries, no hesitations, no remorse, no insecurity, nothing that will get me down for a day or two.

Gee, I'm starting to sound like a miserable person, I'm not. So what else am I fretting about? I dunno, nothing actually. I guess I just value everything that comes my way now, including those in the past. Now it's clearer--every blessing, every endeavor, whether succeeded or not, every path crossed, every emotion, every person encountered, everything--well noted and listed in a mental journal. That's why anything that reminds me of those entries in such journal triggers a warm feeling inside. A feeling that makes me wanna hug somebody.

As I stare at my empty plate from my officemates' bday celebration, I start to wander how much of these blessings I'd still be enjoying for the next ten years? I plan to spend those and the succeeding ones with my loveones by the way. My Lord has always placed me in the best situations of everything. He and His perfect plans for me has been my strength when patience is the test. I only understood failures and tears when I look back, not during those exact times. Gosh, how would i regret if I got what I wanted when I asked for them. Good thing the Lord said NO. So, whatever wall I'm leaning to now, I do recognize that it's temporary, the ultimate dependence should be with the Lord's. Thus, I shouldn't worry at all... and just be grateful for what I have now.

My thanks you’s to God! Glory to Him and His consistent love for me.. Mwah mwah!!!

6th month's now but still can't forget........(sigh)

2005-11-24T01:31:00.000-08:00

Last night after I pray there's this certain feeling that I wanted to cry, I don't know why or what's happening with me or is this another attack of my so called "emotional imbalance"....so what I did was to let my emotion take it place....yeah I did cried it out.....I felt so weird about myself ...thank God that no one heard me crying, my sister still watching downstairs while my parents and brother are already sleeping.... Coz if someone saw me, damn I had to think a way to scape their questions. After 15 minutes of nonstop crying..... Past memories struck me, my happiest and saddess memory.....and it includes the very special person in my life.....MArk Vitto...the man I truly love more than anybody else, but his not mine anymore( ohhh his never been mine tho)....that's when I realized that it's the 24th of the month....the day when we broke up ( if you can call it like that) today is exactly the 6th month of being alone without him in my life. Life that will never be happy without him.

I hope his fine right now.... coz not a single day that I didn't think of him... Until now I'm still trying to forget all the memories (all the happy conversation) that I shared with him... I'm really wishing that I could talk with him one of these days...and bring back the friendship that we had..... I know where ever he maybe right now his happy...but there's only one thing that I can't promise to him..I can't promise not to love him for the rest of my life......I LOVE YOU MARK FOREVER........

WHY LOVE?

2005-11-10T23:20:00.000-08:00

Love, it means nothing to me anymore

It's so dull and so over rated

It just makes the heart sore

It left me so cold and alone

Nobody knowsI lay there and moan

Now that has replaced my sorrow is hate

I hate the word love

And i hate the word hate

In my mind live is just some word,

that some one made to destroy

In my mind hate is what love will eventually turn into

Love left me so cold and alone

Just the word love gives me shivers to the bone

And no one understands why

Why it left me so dead and dry

They tell me to get over it and go

But they just don't know

Love, it means nothing to me anymore

It's so dull and so over rated

It just makes the heart sore

It means nothing to me anymore

Nothing at all

That's All I Wanted You To Know

2005-11-10T23:02:00.000-08:00

Put on a fake smile
look in the warped mirror and see
what I hate
and what I pretend to be
Hiding the tears
pretending everything is okay
thinking to myself
wishing I could runaway
Screaminginto my pillow
seeing my heartsinking so low
I don't know what to do
I just want to go
I love you so much
that's all I wanted you to know

***I really miss you..hope you're ok...I really miss you Mark, eventhough you're so far and you don't want me as your friend, I will still be here for you praying for safety and good health always...I will love you forever***

As loNg As yOu WisH foR iT, I DoN't cArE How MaNy TiMes I hAvE to bUiLd it, wE bUilD it tOGethEr- LING
WhEn sOmEonE tlkeD ABoUt LiFe's DigNiTy, FoR mE,HUmanS ArE JusT A BUncH of MoViNG pieCEs oF MeAt,nOt beauTIFUl bY Any MeAnS-SHENG

2005-09-28T00:45:00.000-07:00

Today I heard them play the song again

An old familiar strain from way back when

Every note and every line

It's always been a favorite song of mine

It used to haunt me so some years ago

Reminds me of a boy I used to know

And although the melody lives on

The memories and the boy are all but gone

And while the song still brings that certain glow

And the words still sing of love I know

It isn't quite the way it was before

I remember the boy

But I don't remember the feeling anymore

The promises we made seemed easier then

As if we knew our love would never end

But seasons change and time erases the tears

As quickly as the rivers disappear

So while the song still brings that certain glow

And the words still sing of love I know

It isn't quite the way it was before

2005-09-28T00:33:00.000-07:00

I believe

We shouldnt let the moment pass us by.

Life's too short

We shouldnt wait for the water to run dry
Think about it

Cause we only have one shot at destiny

All im asking

Could it possibly be you and me?
So if you'd still go, i'll understand

Would you give me something just to hold on to?

And if you'll stay, ill hold your hand

Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you
Time has come

For us to go our separate ways

God forbid

But my mind is going crazy today
I feel so cold

Feel so numb

Im having nightmares but im awake

Help me lord

Fight this loneliness

Take this pain away

2005-09-16T00:04:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday but im not happy....I'm hoping that he would greet me tho! I really miss him...

2005-09-08T21:38:00.000-07:00

What a heck? My day are just starting and I've encounter lots of troubles already.. First I have a fever second the files that I'm waiting for so I can finish my report are damn corrupted then I forgot my wallet in the house coz of hurrying myself to go to office. All these things are making me pissed. Im supposed to be happy today coz its Friday and I can start my weekends right but what happened? Im one hell of unlucky gal.. I better go home now, I'll just take a half day before I can do anything bad to myself for being so careless.Chow everybody!Have a nice weekends!

2005-09-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

See how cute he is, with his little moves and childish acts he got us all,screaming his name and going gaga bout him, pur adorable, lovable and ever charming zaizai.

Ei zaizai what's with the white shoes and pointed edges...hahaha!!The King and The Lord of the shuai ai!!

My blog won't be complete if my zaizai is not here so guys take a deep breath and enjoy it !wapak! Fight this loneliness take this pain away, deadly words indead,from cueshe's STAY

2005-09-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me an email and ask me to try this site "jealousytest site" ohhh.thinking who it was, never mind, but i still tried the site. Just curious how jealous i am,just for fun hahahaha!!!
And guess what i got oooohhhhh drum roll pls..hehehehheeh....41.27%...hahahha it says im not that jealous...uhm quite true..hao!
Here's the whole result of my test!
You are 41.27% jealous!
This percentage means that :
•You are not a jealous person, but sometimes can be.
•Occasionally, you over-react to situations.
•Most of the time, you trust the people around.
•Jealously will not be a major issue in relationships, but you might want to improve your self-esteem.

Quite true atleast i had fun!hahahha! Kinda boring here in work!
If you guys want to try these here's the site
http://tests.studentcenter.org/jealousytest

2005-09-07T01:20:00.000-07:00

Yo guys these is my first post here just trying if it will look good. Thank God coz i find time to edit my blog coz these past weeks ive been so busy with work. Hope I can always update this one to make it look great and enjoyable for everyone.JIA YOU!!!